Why you shouldn’t pickle your Thanksgiving turkey on the beach

What a bunch of bird brains.

Everyone wants their Thanksgiving turkey to stand out, but home cooks in one state are going a little overboard by trying to brine tomorrow’s dinner on a public saltwater beach, officials say.

Famous for its salinity levels two to nine times greater than that of the ocean, Utah’s Great Salt Lake in the densely populated Wasatch Front region has gained something of a reputation as a place to go for a swim before cooking your holiday main course can be delivered outdoors.

But after a turkey washed up on a popular beach near Salt Lake City earlier this week, state park officials were forced to take to social media to warn against the practice.

As well as warning that the lake’s salinity was “too high for a proper brine”, a spokesman added: “The waves can be very strong and there’s a good chance you’ll lose the entire turkey.”

While the bizarre stunt meant another trip to the grocery store for the unknown person, it also drew uproarious laughter from some online viewers.

“I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact that this apparently happened or that someone thought you could pickle a turkey without taking the packaging off,” one person commented on the post.

“The vibe just died,” another added.

While brining — maintaining the proper salt level, of course — is a common way to bring out a turkey’s juiciness, one social media foodie suggests a different approach to tomorrow’s big meal.